is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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