So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
