I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
