The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
