I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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