I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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