and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
