apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
