he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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