you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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