How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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