i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Found the puke drawer
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
