she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I could fuck to npr.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
