the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
COCAINE IS GR8
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
