when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Houston, we have a blender
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
how does that bad decision feel?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
