went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
