I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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