when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
