You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
