So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
