Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
