He kissed a someone with a penis
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
no you cant smoke seaweed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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