In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
