spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
