Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
