Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
