I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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