nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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