Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
17 year olds will be the death of me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My bed smells like the plague
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
