I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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