I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
