he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
