dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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