Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
