I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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