I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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