id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
