I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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