Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
