I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
