You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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