Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
