all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
