just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
