He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
