Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
