it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
