Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was CRYING into my vagina
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
