Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
