You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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