Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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