Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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